Hello my magickal friend and happy Witchy Wednesday! Today is ALL about self-care. 

Why? Because we need it! In this time that we’re living, the need to practice self-care is crucial. We’re currently in the middle of a pandemic, a critical election, and the fight against systemic racism. Not to mention murder hornets, meth alligators, and the world being on fire. Just one of these things would be enough to warrant more self-care. 

The problem is that most people don’t see the importance of self-care, which is disheartening. I feel that if more people took the time to practice self-care, this world might be in a little better shape. 

What is Self-Care?

Self-care means different things to people, but I’d like to give the actual definition for clarity’s sake. According to Google, self-care is the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.

I love this definition! Taking an ACTIVE ROLE is so important! YOU are responsible for your own well-being and happiness. Self-care is not something that someone else can do for you, it has to be you doing it for yourself. 

Self-care is deliberate and intentional. It’s something you do for yourself on purpose and it should be something that you want to do, if you want to grow as a person. 

What self-care is not

Self-care is not passive. It’s not just sitting on the couch, binge watching Netflix all day. Like I said before, it’s active. It’s something that you have to practice. It can also be something that requires work. 

Self-care is also not random. It’s an act you plan, then execute. Self-care is not something you just accidentally do. You need to be intentional about your self-care. If you don’t actively plan for it, then you will never find the time to actually follow through with it. 

It’s also not easy and flowy. Self-care isn’t always a candle-lit bubble bath while sipping a glass of wine. Sometimes it’s doing the hard work now to give your future self peace of mind. 

What does self-care look like

Self-care can look very different depending on the person. There are a lot of different ways to practice self-care, from meditation to exercise, changing your mindset to, yes, sometimes even a bubble bath. 

The biggest thing with self-care is that it should be something that protects your well-being and happiness, as the definition above described. So you have to ask yourself, what brings me peace of mind? What practices bring me happiness? What does my well-being look like?

Sometimes the answer will be something that helps you decompress, but other times, it will be doing some work on yourself to help manage your mind. The way we think can sometimes be the biggest detriment to our own self-care, depending on how we talk to ourselves. 

Why self-care is important

So why is self-care so important? Well, it’s like maintenance on a car. If you keep up with the care (regular oil changes, checking the engine, replacing parts that need to be replaced), the car will run smoothly and have a lot less problems down the road. If you don’t take care of the car, it will break down and not only become useless, it could become dangerous to operate. 

This is what happens to you when you neglect your self-care. You start feeling drained, rundown, and useless. Like the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty glass. If you’re not keeping up with your own self-care, you’re going to be no help to anyone else, and you could even become a danger to yourself and others. 

Self-care is something we often don’t think we have time for, but it’s the one thing we need to make time for if we want to be functioning as our best selves. We tend to make time to care for everyone else’s well-being, and in the process, end up neglecting ourselves. But like they say when you travel on an airplane, you have to put your mask on before you can help someone else. 

Why people are bad at self-care

I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m terrible at self-care. As a single new mom of a beautiful little boy with Down Syndrome, finding time to take care of myself is really hard. Everything I do is to make a better life for my son. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change being a mom for anything, but it’s hard. I find that, in general, women are much worse at self-care than men, though men can have a hard time with this too. I know as a single woman, there is a lot more pressure to be a caretaker on top of being the breadwinner for my family. 

All this is to say, it’s really difficult to find time to take care of myself. As I’ve said before, it’s a lot easier to show up for other people than it is to show up for ourselves. Trying to find the time to just sit down for 5 minutes and breathe can be next to impossible sometimes. 

I know there are a lot of you out there that are just like me. You’re taking care of everyone else and leaving yourself at the end of your to-do list. You know, the part that you never quite get to and it just keeps getting moved to tomorrow’s list? Trust me, I’ve been there. 

Changing your life with self-care

You’ve got to understand how important self-care is for yourself. If you want to be there for everyone else, as your best self, you need to practice self-care. The fact is, you will not show up as your best self until you start taking care of yourself. 

Self-care can literally change your life. By establishing a practice of self-care, you will become a better version of yourself for the people around you. How much better do you think you would feel if you were able to manage your mind, maintain a calmer demeanor, and feel more in touch with yourself? 

It all starts with making a commitment to yourself to practice self-care. Find 5 minutes a day to just be there for yourself, in whatever way you can. I’ve included a quick charm you can try to help you establish your self-care practice. I really want you to try and show up for yourself. Let me know how it goes. 

Charm for a Self-Care Practice

Materials needed:

• Rose quartz heart stone

Sit in a place that is quiet. Close your eyes and hold the stone to your heart. Breathe in and then out three times. Imagine someone you love resides within the stone. Connect your heart energy to the stone by sending love and kindness into it to that person. In your mind’s eye, see a pink glow start to come from the stone, surrounding the person you love. See the glow growing until it completely surrounds you. Once you are completely engulfed in the pink glow, say the rhyme below. 

(Person’s name) shows how I can care

This stone shall hold my love in there

Until I need some caring too

I’ll feel the stone’s love coming through

When I need a little reminding

I’ll hold this love until it’s binding

By the power of three times three

As i will it, so mote it be

Take this stone with you and hold it anytime you need reminding to practice self-care. 

Take care of yourself, my magickal friend. Until next time, choose joy! Blessed be!